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Princessmonkey.com * The Monkey Times

Welcome to an exclusive Monkey Club publication, The Monkey Times. This is an online newspaper by Monkeys, for Monkeys, and of course, visiting readers are welcome to have a look-see.

The Monkey Club members have been busily scribbling down articles, editorials, and monkey comics at their desks for many weeks. We have sent some monkeys into the field, and it is through their work that we have fascinating pictures for you all. We hope The Monkey Times will grow to succeed as the leading news source for monkeys, reaching a diversity of monkey audiences across the globe.

Read breakthrough monkey news stories atThe Monkey Times!

Two Monkeys Scavenge Treasure from Human World!

"[Some treasures] were nowhere to be found."
By Sock Monkey - The Monkey Times

Two monkeys, Peanut Monkey and Kiwi Monkey, set off on a mission yesterday afternoon to find their favorite foods. The excursion occurs most every afternoon, but the pair admit that they usually return empty handed. The event occurred late yesterday evening, around 8pm, when the two monkeys were found asleep from exhaustion but laden with treasures. The secured items included one jar of Peter Pan peanut butter and three whole fruits: a banana, an orange, and a golden delicious apple. According to a statement by Kiwi Monkey, peanut monkey with his conquest kiwi fruit was "nowhere to be found." The pair agreeably posed for portraits today with their conquests. They stated their hopes to lead many more monkeys into the human world to search for treasured treats (which, once consumed, must be replenished in supply). Peanut and Kiwi are hailed the land over as heroes for their fine work. They are expected to embark upon another expedition tomorrow afternoon.

Advice by ComfyMonkey

Dear ComfyMonkey, I saw a cute monkey walking past my office the other day but I was too scared to go outside and talk to her (like they do in romantic comedies) I would like to ask her on a date. A monkey friend was able to tell me that she works in a restaurant nearby. I haven't dated in awhile and I don't want to scare her away. What should I do?? - "Nervous@Initech"

Dear "Nervous," I will give you some timeless advice... A monkey will remember a lot of things you wouldn't think he'd remember. You take me. One day, about five years back, I was walking out of the gate from my train, and as we pulled out, there was another train pulling in, and on it there was a pretty monkey waiting to get off. A white dress she had on. She was carrying a white parasol. I only saw her for one second. She didn't see me at all, but I'll bet a month hasn't gone by since that I haven't thought of that girl. Take your chances, my friend.

Send your questions and comments to ComfyMonkey.